23rd Oct

 Once again besotted with thoughts... was readin Agatha Christie's "The mirror crack'd from side to side" n was relating to the very accurate depiction of true human nature described through the character Marina Gregg who is a famous movie star who has seen it all n done it all but is still driven by bouts of depression coz she doesnt have a child of her own. In real life too we may have more than wat most ppl have but still cling on to sadness in hope of acquirin that one last piece to complete life's puzzle. To give it a more personal touch when i was in the "cycle"(Cycle-The big bad corporate world or anything equivalent which keeps u as busy as an ant) i thought of havin some time to myself, some idle time wherein i could do everything with laziness personified. I wanted to wake up n sleep whenever i wanted to, eat, shop, roam n chat with unadulterated leisure n now when i have all the time in the world i have to think ways of keepin the mood of gaeity from being dismantled. So one wonders are we really better off being busy??? Is busyness the new word for happiness??? The solution being that when we are preoccupied we dont sit back n deduce the state of our life or wat we are goin to do in the not so appealin future. 

              Also one more thing is the lack of emotions portrayed by humans these days. Its not cool to cry when u are sad, ppl are scared to cry largely due to the fear of ridicule by their peers. I plead guilty of being one of those who do bring out the funniest of perceptions in another's tragedy. I dont like to cry myself coz i feel that kinda makes me look weak, once again peer pressure. I feel we all are turnin into lifeless n unresponsive zombies n i really dont know where the fault is to be attributed. 

      Anyway gotta go now time for dinner!!! Sorry for the abrupt end but will leave u with a line from a contemporary bengali musician "Jeebon bola kichu nai jeebon to jeebito thakar abhinay"

I really tried to translate but i sucked so ask ur nearest nosy Bengali or call me :)

Tuesday 21st Oct

Hello n welcome to another blog by well the good ol Ronster....This is no story just my daily events n random thoughts. So don't expect much!!! To start off the proceedings i recently was thinkin where do i belong?? I am a bengali who was born n brought up at Assam. Ya Assam the land where terrorists dwell as much as the one-horned rhino or maybe more. And no we dont live in the jungle or wear leaves for clothes. I was raised in the city of Guwahati where u hardly see a tree now a days leave alone a jungle. So movin on the problem is that in my supposed motherland i am termed a "Bongal" or "Bangladeshi" even though my grandfather n even his grandfather was born on this land n we didnt cross the border after 1971 to enter the state but since fortunately or unfortunately my mother tongue is Bengali i will always be a "Bongal". Therefore the sense of belongin kept on recedin as i was growin up. 

                        West Bengal or rather Kolkata coz thats all i have seen of Bengal doesnt accept me much either. The fault maybe is mine or my parents or the atmosphere i grew up in, the fault ie i dont know much about Bengali culture. The Bengali that i speak is appalling, i take atleast 3-5 minutes to read even the signboards that are in Bengali n i know at the most 4 songs in Bengali. The pinnacle is reached when i go to buy a cigarette in Kolkata. The vendor's Bengali-accented Hindi is the perfect counter-measure to my Hindi-accented Bengali. I have even heard remarks such as "Maru" flyin around durin some of my ciggi expeditions. To enlighten the ones who dont know the term "Maru" is short for Marwari. They are greatly despised by the locals since they are believed to be takin over Bengal n also because they are super-rich. Here too the affiliation runs dry.

                I have resided in the city of Bangalore since the last 4 years n its been a delightful stay but as far as belongin goes it ends as soon as i am identified as a north indian whereas i am not even a north indian. In Bangalore whoever doesnt know Kannada is a north indian u maybe from the hills of Arunachal Pradesh or the deserts of Rajasthan but in Bangalore u are a north indian.

              So after much debate about belongin i have reached a statistical conclusion which can be explained in a pie chart. I feel most at home in Assam coz i was born there n where ppl dont like me for who i am which is better than Kolkata where ppl have to wonder where to place me...Bangalore is a great city to live in but the feelin of belongin never arises but who knows lets give it some more years!!!

RESULT

1. GUWAHATI-60%
2. KOLKATA-30%
3. BANGALORE-10%