Top 5 Bollywood movies of 2010

What makes a great film? Simple, everything! There are so many things to get wrong in making a film, it’s truly a magical experience when the sound design, editing, music, cinematography, acting, writing and directing all wrap up into one to make the perfect film.

There were some truly great films this year, so many that I had to pull all my hair out to pick just five. Incidentally four of the five I picked were directed by debutants! Don't know if I will get bouquets or brickbats for my choices but these are my top 5 in no particular order:

Ishqiya

Director: Abhishek Chaubey

Cast: Vidya Balan, Naseeruddin Shah, Arshad Warsi

Ishqiya had terrific performances, great writing and fantastic direction.

And music by Vishal Bharadwaj was so good especially 'Dil Toh Bachcha hai Ji' that Madhur Bhandarkar's forthcoming movie is titled the same.

Udaan

Director: Vikramaditya Motwane

Cast: Rajat Barmecha, Ronit Roy

Udaan was unconventional Bollywood at its biting best. Udaan spoke about a lonely teenager's traumatic life as his father and he dealt with their clash of personalities.

Vikramaditya Motwane deserves distinction marks for narrating a slice of life film with aplomb but the two kids, Rajat Barmecha and Aayan Boradia, were the real stars of this enterprise.

Tere Bin Laden

Director: Abhishek Sharma

Cast: Ali Zafar, Pradhuman Singh

A satirical comedy, Tere Bin Laden spoke about US's paranoia for anything Islamic post 9/11. It had a smart script and some smart acting.

India found a star from the other side of the border, Ali Zafar, a package of good looks, super talent and the right screen presence.

Peepli [Live]

Director: Anusha Rizvi

Cast: Omkar Nath Manikpuri, Raghubir Yadav

Peepli [Live] dealt with farmer suicide cases in a satirical and witty way.

The music was remarkable and the dialogues laced with expletives, were truly fantastic and most importantly, real. The film, deservedly is India's entry into Oscars this year.

Love Sex Aur Dhokha

Director: Dibakar Banerjee

Cast: Anshuman Jha, Neha Chauhan

The only film in this list without a debutant director, had three stories talking about serious issues like honour killings, MMS scandals and sting operations.

Banjerjee has a keen ear for local textures and dialogue and incredibly, he gleaned impressive performances from his cast of rank newcomers.

Click here to view the published version of my article: http://www.cinecurry.com/news/movie-news/hindi/top-5-bollywood-movies-2010

Top 5 Hollywood movies in India of 2010

Most people would remember 2010 for the sequels of franchise flicks like Twilight, Narnia, Shrek and Harry Potter or Tom Cruise and Angelina Jolie blowing up stuff but all the above were rendered forgettable by the presence of some awe-inspiring celluloid gems. Here are 5 Hollywood movies from the ones released in India this year that had me impressed:

The Social Network

Director: David Fincher

Cast: Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield

Fun. Interesting. Well made. Though their marketing plan was questionable, their dialogue was more than impressive and they managed to successfully make a film about people sitting and typing at a computer fun, dramatic, and interesting.

Fincher proved again that he is an amazing visual director while Eisenberg is so great with his performance that he manages to make you love and loathe Zuckerberg simultaneously.

Inception

Director: Christopher Nolan

Cast: Leonardo Di Caprio, Ellen Page

The idea of our dreams and how one affects them is a risky topic to tackle because it’s endless and quite complex. Nolan made it not only easy to understand but raised many interesting debates on “mind travel.”

It was an exquisitely beautiful film with a magnificent soundtrack by Hans Zimmer.

Toy Story 3

Director: Lee Unkrich

Cast: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen

Surprisingly as good as the first but in an entirely new way. Not only was this film funny and well made, but it dealt with concepts that serious dramas are afraid to touch. Yes it had a few cheesy kids lines, but on the whole it was dark, dramatic, interesting, funny, it was more than just a film, it was an experience.

I have said this before and I will say it again, if you didn't have a tear or two rolling down your cheek in the last 30 minutes, then you’re probably a heartless Decepticon.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Director: Oliver Stone

Cast: Michael Douglas, Shia LaBeouf

The film didn't try to copy the original as much as you might think. Yes, there’s the mentoring of an up and comer by a devious veteran but it also tackled the politics and corruption present in the new millennium. Money Never Sleeps opened a whole new bag of worms.

Every actor elevated the other’s performance, which made the film more watchable and more entertaining. LaBeouf may seem like an odd choice for such a dramatic role but he really brought it and proved that he can hang with the big dogs.

The Town

Director: Ben Affleck

Cast: Ben Affleck, Jeremy Renner

What made this movie a cut above the rest was how it employed generic elements like revenge and romance to device empathy for its morally-ambiguous protagonists without ever compromising on the hard-boiled intentions of its cleverly-manufactured screenplay.

From top to bottom there was a great cast in this film. Renner, Hamm, Affleck, Lively, Hall all gave solid performances though Pete Postlethwaite was the star of the show for me.

Check out my published version of this article on: http://www.cinecurry.com/news/movie-news/english/top-5-hollywood-movies-india-2010

How The Ronster Stole Your Christmas!

We all (Ok most of us!) know how the Jesus story has been lifted from pagan mythology. It was travelling in the Mediterranean almost 1000 years before him. The virgin birth, baptism in the river, resurrection etc were actually taken from stories of Osiris, Dionysus, Adonis, Attis, Horus and Mithras. But come on even the date of birth had to be stolen??? For dim-wits who still haven’t followed, yes, ‘The Saviour’ wasn’t born on December 25^th!

The Bible has as many cases of plagiarism against it as the next Bollywood movie you will catch in the theatre or Pritam’s next composition. The cave-men who wrote His story just did a pre-historic cut (wiping out Paganism mercilessly)-copy (a very accurate one)-paste (and we give you JESUS).

To prove that this is not a hoax, I give you the whole story:

From its early Babylonian roots, the celebration of the birth or "rebirth" of the sun god on December 25th came to be celebrated under various names all over the ancient world.  You see, the winter solstice occurs a few days before December 25th each year. The winter solstice is the day of the year when daylight is the shortest. In ancient times, December 25th was the day each year when the day started to become noticeably longer.  Thus it was fitting for the early pagans to designate December 25th as the date of the birth or the "rebirth" of the sun.

Let's even pretend for a while that my pal J.C. existed and the Bible accurate. So where did Christmas come from? Well, the truth is that the word "Christmas" is not actually found anywhere in the entire Bible. In fact, the word "Christmas" was not even invented until about a thousand years after Jesus left this earth. The Catholic Encyclopedia even admits this: "The word for Christmas in late Old English is Cristes Maesse, the Mass of Christ, first found in 1038." But Jesus was not even born on December 25th. The reality is that it would have simply been far too cold for shepherds to be out with their sheep at night in Israel on December 25th. The vast majority of Christian scholars now acknowledge this. So when was Jesus actually born? Based on the information we have in the Scriptures, it appears that it is most likely that Jesus was born in the autumn season.

So how did December 25th come to be celebrated by Christians? Well, by the time the Roman Empire legalized Christianity in the 4th century, most of the other religions in the empire were celebrating the birth of their gods on December 25th.

So in the year 350 A.D., Pope Julius I declared that the birth of Jesus would be celebrated on December 25th from then on. There appears to be little doubt that Pope Julius was trying to make it as painless as possible for pagan Romans to convert to Catholicism!

Also thousands of years before there was a "Santa Claus", there was another supernatural figure that would supposedly visit a tree and leave gifts every December 25th. His name was Nimrod!

According to ancient Babylonian tradition, Semiramis claimed that after the untimely death of her husband Nimrod, a full grown evergreen tree sprang up overnight from a dead tree stump. Semiramis claimed that Nimrod would visit that evergreen tree and leave gifts each year on the anniversary of his birth, which just happened to be on December 25th!

Dampened the Holiday spirit have I? Ho Ho Ho (It’s not Nimrod laughing but the Grinch) :D

Free-Doom?

The question every Indian should ask today. After 63 years of unfulfilled promises and dreams, are we really free? Can a woman walk the streets freely in the capital of the country without being molested and raped? Can a couple get married irrespective of their caste or religion in Punjab, Rajasthan, Haryana or Bihar without falling prey to (Dis)honour killing? Can a man/woman come out of the closet and not be targeted by the society? Can we have one big event in India without money-laundering scams arising? Can a school in the north-east have an Independence Day parade without the fear of a terrorist attack? Can we have a Prime Minister who with his Independence Day speech could rouse a nation and not put it to sleep?

Just some of the problems from the top off my head, there are other serious problems like the Maoist problem and the Kashmir issue but even the most optimistic person in the world will say that these are pretty much unsolvable. How long can we say, “My country is filled with corruption and crime but i believe in the goodness of our people”? 63 years of a country filled with just good-hearted people hasn’t got us anywhere and i don’t see the next 100 any different.

Solutions are welcome because i have no practical ones! I shall always love my country irrespective of everything. I am an ordinary cheesy Indian too. Jai Hind!

Who Am I? Pick your favourite Rony...

Am i the quiet kid, who when the phone rings and ‘Dad/Mom’ shows up on the screen doesn’t know what to say, fills the following minute with one-word answers?

Or am i the funny guy who livens the proceeding with his wit?

Is it me when i woo somebody with my charm and then cut myself off from her, knowing how it will end?

Or am i the guy who still wonders if people in Korea are as wonderful as in their movies?

Am i the guy who when speaking to an old friend feels so disconnected that he stopped taking calls?

Or am i the fool who on a rainy day reminisces about the past?

Is it me when i politely nod and smile to everything a stranger or a elderly/relative says?

Or am i the monster who gets this urges to do unspeakable acts and has to be calmed with alcohol? ha ha ha

Patience

Patience is a virtue everyone said
I say its a bad habit i've made

I asked for help i cried aloud
From above i received even darker clouds
I braved the rain and dried my head

Patience is a virtue everyone said
I say its a bad habit i've made

With lies and betrayals were stolen my smile
I looked away and let them pile
They still strangle me when i go to bed

Patience is a virtue everyone said
I say its a bad habit i've made

Throw out the bin turn out the lights
Without reason these miniscule fights
I bowed my head i smiled i slaved

Patience is a virtue everyone said
I say its a bad habit i've made

Why we don’t need Love?

Love, the entity that makes the world go round. Have you seen a person in love? Quite easily recognisable I might add. The eyes always give away the tale. There’s a spark of a different kind, a certain twinkle is present (as one of my friend put it) which otherwise you will never see. Haiti became a superpower, Uddhav and Raj are welcoming north-Indians to Bombay (not Mumbai), Salman and Katrina got married, Rahul Dravid scored the fastest century in cricket... “Who cares? I just want to look in your eyes all through my life.” Trust me. That’s the reaction you are going to get. Everything’s wonderful, you are happy and you want to keep your partner joyful, not a worry in the world but only till it lasts...

This blog is not for people in love or for people who think they are in love (huge number) for they are too deep into it and can’t be saved. This is for people who are looking for love or who think alike. So as i was saying everything is fine and dandy till it lasts and last it doesn’t. In the present generation a few months and if you are really lucky a few years is all you can hope for. For in sometime one of you will get bored and then leave the other. Love is a feeling, here today gone tomorrow and in present times, more so. What happens after that? You don’t remain you; you resort to ghastly acts to fill the void with unsuccessful results of course and in a split second your life is changed forever.

Don’t lose yourself on the way, don’t be dependent on anybody to live your life hell don’t be dependent on anything you can’t buy. For when you have everything and then suddenly you are left with nothing you tend to lose sanity. Try loving yourself, i know it’s hard to do but you are better off.

Now let’s not disappoint the ones in love. A piece of advice for you too. Don’t give up. Don’t give up on your love for the next guy/girl who gives you a little more attention. Don’t give up on your love for your parents or religion for parents are going to die one day and what are you left with then? Plus if they really love you they will understand. As for religion, read my next blog on religion and you will know why. Still really foolish. Hold onto it for nothing makes you happier than love. I can’t anymore, so if you can, do it morons. For the others pick up a hobby, get into a job that you like or travel. Don’t do drugs, alcohol or any other dreadful thing, leave that to me ha ha ha ha

There’s a little bit of him in all of us

When you are growing up, you always have somebody you look upto. For some people it’s their father or an elder sibling, some emulate the latest music sensation while some follow an actor. I fall in the last category. I first saw him in Fauji but my hero-worshipping days didn’t start there. It started when our family was watching Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman on the small brand new colour TV and my mother said aloud, “Aww…Wish I had a son like him.” That was one of the many times I was jealous of him but always admiration is what I was left with in the end. Also since then I was amazed at how every woman wanted him. Some wanted him as a son, some as the filmy lover but nevertheless wanted him in some way. And hereafter your life’s mission becomes, “How do I become Shahrukh Khan?”

Click here to read the rest (Since they pay me to write i guess, they deserve the hits)

Doston ka Review

Been away for sometime now. Trying to figure things out and simply matargasti also. What did I figure out? Nothing really.

I have been reviewing movies for a while now and so I came out with this idea about reviewing my friends. Don’t worry it will not be the cheesy testimonies you find on Orkut. I will mostly talk about things that I won’t usually say to them. Some might get pissed off, some might want to defend themselves therefore I have decided to not take their names and I will address them as ‘it’ to hide their gender ha ha. Still wanna get pissed off, go ahead and be my guest. I am including very few people in this assessment so if you can’t find yourself don’t be disappointed just gimme a call and I will personally insult you. For those who are included, herein lies my opinion of you. Also I am not writing this to win the Booker prize, only to vent stuff so don’t look for literary genius here.

Lastly, I may be wrong but so may you…

Exhibit 1: It is an ego-maniacal loud mouth. I don’t know for what joy it wants to race with everybody in everything. Whether it be drinking or career or money you name it and it will want to overhaul you and take the lead. If it says it has downed 3 bottles of beer, ½ bottle of vodka and a quarter whiskey, the reality would be 4 pegs of Old Monk rum! One of the best story-tellers that I have ever met. It can easily go on hour after hour with stories of him and her, of this and that and I assure you that you won’t get bored. Mostly because the masala that is added. Also one of the very few people I know whose intelligence I respect.
Suggestion: Get rid of the pettiness, you are good enough.

Exhibit 2: It is irritating, loud, foolish, crazy and sometimes funnily preachy. The last point is because its own life is in doldrums and also because it tells you to do things that it itself never does properly. Also it has a horrible taste of partners (don’t know what else to say in place of gf/bf). I don’t know how, where and on what basis it chooses its partners. But they are appalling. I know it’s got a heart of gold but sometimes its antics become highly unbearable. Like Exhibit 1, adds too much masala in whatever it has to say almost to the point of you not believing in whatever it has to say. You always have to ask another person for the actual facts.
Suggestion: Sober down. Time to become humane.

Exhibit 3: It is the kid I will never have. Love it a lot and I still don’t know why. I find it rather selfish and know it doesn’t really care about me as much as I do for it. Nevertheless one of the people I look upto.
Suggestion: Loosen up a bit. Enjoy your life while it lasts. Parents pleasing is a tedious job and you can never do enough.

Exhibit 4: It is the person that has influenced my life in the highest degree. Whenever I am walking a certain road or when the weather changes to a more pleasant tone it pops up in my mind. Terribly hard to keep off your mind. Do I still love it? I don’t know anymore and I don’t wanna know. Have stopped thinking about this for I can do nothing about it. Nobody has made me happier or more miserable than it has. But nobody knows me more. We both are fools for not being together. For we are as perfect as perfect can be for each other. There are those who think they love then there are those who think they are loved. I pity them for I knew the real thing. Nevertheless I want it to be happy and lead its life to the fullest. I hope we remember each other with a smile on our faces throughout our life.
Suggestion: What do I suggest to a person who has made me what I am today? Smile on…

Love you guys :)

Big Joe and the Twins

Was wondering, exactly…wondering!!! Had been writing the Why we don’t need this and that for a while, so was wondering what to write about. I sat and thought and somehow the male reproductive organ came to my mind. You have a lot of organs in your body but the only time you think about your liver or your kidney is when they malfunction. But the penis demands your attention all the time. You have to position it, put it in, put it out and don’t forget to wash your hands. You worry about it growing up and if you are not lucky you will worry even after growing up. Size matters lemme tell you. No ifs and buts it matters. We guys even name it. Lil Sergeant, Big Major etc. The most innovative I’ve heard till now is Big Joe and the twins. Get it? :)

I don’t know how it became a slang (don’t pretend like you have never been called a dick) wherein it serves such a great purpose. Most probably a woman came out with it. Let’s be honest women did get the raw deal when nature was planning the whole ordeal. Like a comic once said, “Women have cramps, periods and give birth, I gotta shave-OK!!!” All I wanna say is its just a poor lil organ, it lives, gets sick, gets old, dies. Uh-oh

Since we have spoken about Big Joe, we should atleast mention the twins or they might feel left out. Testicles, the word itself induces fear in men. Even God didn’t wanna think about it, “We have some extra elbow skin left? Use that!” I don’t know how balls came to be spoken in the same context as courage because whenever you are really petrified, they shrink. I wonder why guys go “Here is your stuff, down here take it” or “Do you have the balls to…?” It all starts with playing cricket and your every effort to guard it from the ball. If they were courageous organs they would just refuse the guard and say “Lemme at the ball.” What would be funny is if women related courage to their ovaries. Just imagine a woman putting her hand below her stomach where her ovaries might be and go “Here is your lunch, come get it” ha ha ha